The First Tea Party Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a serious American holiday for Americans! A real American will not let his family prepare the entire Thanksgiving feast for their relatives. That’s socialism! Allowing each relative to bring a dish to form a complete Thanksgiving dinner together is just the first step down the slippery slope into Communism. After all, it was decades of Pot Luck suppers that led directly to the rise of the Nazis in Germany!

The only common sense way to have an American Thanksgiving in America is to have each member of your family, from the oldest grandparent to the youngest infant, prepare the entire Thanksgiving dinner themselves. Your individual relatives can then sell individual portions of their own individual Thanksgiving dinner to one another while they sit at their individual tables. We The People say, Free Enterprise is the secret to a lumpless gravy! Let the Market decide who’s Turkey is biggest! That’s how the Pilgrims, Founding Fathers, Pocahontas, and Jesus did it at the first Thanksgiving in 1492!