Crist Sticks In The Shiv.

Early voting hours expanded in Florida.

What’s the catch, they ask? Why would the Republican governor of Florida do this when early voters so far are for Obama 60-40? This is the state of the 2000 election and hanging chads and Katherine Harris. This can’t possibly be good for Democrats, right?

Wrong. It’s possible he thinks this will somehow improve Republican turnout. But in reality, the point is to strengthen his approval with independents and Democrats in Florida by looking non-partisan and using it as a base to launch his 2012 presidential campaign.

It’s also a giant “FUCK YOU” to John McCain for not picking Crist, who like Tom Ridge and even Joe Liebermann, have started making public statements that seem to show that they understand reality and thought the Sarah Palin pick was a disaster.

Let’s just think about the map with Florida solid red. Does Obama still win? Probably, but Florida is an expensive state to defend, and with McCain’s limited funds, he could have used that money to do a better job in Colorado, Ohio, AND Indiana. Let’s say he picked Ridge and made Pennsylvania at least competitive. Same deal with the cash. What about the electoral votes? It would have forced Obama to control Virginia, Colorado, and Nevada (or Florida). Liebermann also probably would have sealed up Florida (but probably not Connecticut, given his current standing there). 

Am I reading too much into this? Maybe, possibly. But it’s starting to look to me like Crist is going to try the “fresh face” popular governor moderate approach and be the Bill Clinton of 2012, against the Paul Tsongas (i.e. old line liberal) of 2012, Sarah Palin.

That means Democrats need to start fucking this guy up on Nov. 5.

The last of the Palin drama

  • More embezzlement against the state of Alaska for kids’ trips
  • Says Bristol is a good example for young girls/women
  • $150,000 on clothes for the “hockey mom” family spent by RNC
  • She was apparently foisted on McCain by a bunch of middle-aged conservative magazine guys on a Republican booze-cruise who got hot for her.

Palin Deathwatch 8

Think there wasn’t a major gaffe? I’m not sure how much people are going to like that she was nasty about Biden’s dead wife.

Also, Alaska court refuses to stop Troopergate.

Having said that, this will be the last Palin Deathwatch unless, like a zombie, I revive it yet again. If they didn’t off her by now, it’s just too late.

VP debate expectations game

Of course no matter what happens, the spin will be that Palin wasn’t that bad. If she manages not to self destruct it still may not change the narrative of her as an idiot and an extremist.

But will it change the polls? I doubt it. Her negatives might go down, but it wont have a lasting effect past the next presidential debate.

Palin Deathwatch 6

Bob Herbert at NYT.

The McCain people have shown themselves predictably unpredictable. Pushing hard from all sides to remove Sarah Palin under normal circumstances would be a superb attack on McCain. The problem is, he might do it. I understand all the arguments for why he wouldn’t do that.

But I only want to hear that from people who successfully predicted he would pick her in the first place, and/or that predicted that he would “suspend” his campaign to try and wriggle out of a debate and then go to the debate anyway.

There are two basic scenarios, basically flip-sides of each other, that would make this occur. One: the upside becomes greater than the downside politically. Two: McCain starts falling behind significantly and calls an audible just to shake things up, again.

I don’t see anyway for it to work at all if it’s not done in time for the debate next week. That means that it has to be soon. 

But we’re not quite there yet. She needs one or two more major gaffes, or a scandal. Say, Trig is really Bristol’s after all, or the affair rumors get proved. Barring that, I don’t see her leaving. But, again, I didn’t predict many of McCain’s stunts, and these “scandals” could be fabricated to get her out.

It would also let McCain pick Liebermann, who he wanted in the first place. He would do this, I think, because the Rove-base based strategy isn’t working for him. This is not a base election—it’s a swing voter election, and Liebermann would fix that deficiency, even if he is just as unpopular among Dems as Palin.

Oh, and Liebermann would have a chance in a debate against Biden.

Just because he might do it doesn’t mean I think it will work. It probably won’t.

Palin Deathwatch 4

It’s becoming fairly clear to me that McCain’s high-risk stunt this week was all about trying to delay Palin’s debate. It’s not even a question of a Bush/Gore/Kerry “expectations” game. She’s bound to just completely fuck up—and Biden can just answer and be polite, not attack, chuckle, do a Gore groan or anything.

At this point, it’s time to drop her and bring in Vinegar Joe Liebermann. Of course, that might actually help him, so never mind. Lol.

Palin's Psycho "Church"

This pretty much scares the shit out of me.

Cell-phone anointing? I mean, come on.  Either these people are taking something stronger than I ever saw in college (by a few orders or magnitude) or they are just nucking futs.  This is what we want to be a heartbeat away, Caribou Barbie Possessed By the “Spirit”?

UPDATE: Kevin Nealon to the rescue:

Are the Palin attacks sexist??

If by that do you mean would I be saying the same exact things if she weren’t a woman the answer is yes, some of the criticisms are altered to reflect the fact of her gender, like the use of the pronoun ‘she’.

But I have always been an equal opportunity attack dog, and here the case is no different.  But what is the question of sexism really about? Is it about perfect point-by-point sameness for everything women do, or is it about the societal structures that prevent women from being autonomous as much as men?

I would bet that most women wouldn’t want, even if it were realistic, to deny their femininity—a dig made at Hillary in praise of Palin.  It’s not about wearing ties or playing golf.  It’s about can I pursue my dreams.

Biology has a lot to say about that.  And women pressed into involuntary servitude as vessels for blastocysts they do not wish to bear, children they do not wish to have or raise can never have a chance of being equal in any meaningful sense.  

I don’t dispute that, at least at some point, when the fetus becomes viable, it gains its own rights.  But when its still part of mom, mom has a say.  Because if mom doesn’t, mom either has to become an asexual being or give up on being a lawyer, or a doctor, or a soccer player.  But remember, Palin’s not just about reversing Roe v. Wade or changing the date of viability, or banning d&x (“partial birth”), or limiting it to risks to the mother.  She’s about none, ever.  And also these same folks aren’t just about the relatively pathos-infused realities of abortion.  They want to stop people from having sex that doesn’t make kids, period, forever.  A sizeable minority may oppose abortion, but how many people would ban themselves from ever being allowed to have non-procreative sex?  Proof is in the pudding: if abortion were the real issue, then why on earth would “conservatives” block RU486?! Having a dispenser of that in every bathroom in the world would eliminate abortion!

But asskicking careers isn’t what all women want.  Some are stoked to be moms. I’m glad mine was. But I wouldn’t want a mom who had no choice (say because she was the daughter of a politician and also a minor) but to bear me, or but to be a child bearer and home maker, without any other choice, not in my existence, but in hers.

But men face none of these problems.  So, until we come to grips with this stuff, we’ll never start figuring out whether it really matters if women can play golf at Augusta. Nancy Pelosi and Sandra Day O’Connor and Geraldine Ferraro and Sarah Palin mean jack shit if they got in those positions while still locked into 18th century gender roles.  

So, to the extent that we’re supposed to think that Palin’s nomination or even (God forbid) election is some kind of victory for women just because she’s a woman is the sexist thought, not the criticism based on the fact that she wants to make the choice for all women, not just about abortion, but about limiting the scope of their entire potential being to that of a Norman Rockwell painting and nothing else.

Hillary, on the other hand, who this sexist supported in the primaries, well, Hillary as president or vice president or senator or majority leader—well, that means something. Why? Because she didn’t do it by being the church’s model of a perfect woman.  She did it by kicking ass and working twice as hard for half the reward for years and years, and still basically had to be married to a powerful man to get a chance to shine on her own.

No one picked Hillary because she’s a piece of ass.

Palin attended five colleges in six years before graduating from the University of Idaho in 1987

What’s the difference between Odysseus and a hockey mom? Lipstick.

Field Marshall Palin started her career at (1) Hawaii Pacific University, then to (2) North Idaho College, near where Mark Fuhrman lives, then to (3) the University of Idaho, then to (4) Matanuska-Susitna College in Alaska (which I hear is the Harvard of the North), then back to (5) Idaho.

Umm. I think that’s really four. 

Something tells me that her shitty education is only going to make her more popular.  It worked for W.

Repubs: "Enough Nilap Nonsense!" But Is There Any Sense?

Tonight, in what will be the most maudlin moment in modern American history, a cavalcade of creepy cardboard cutout sanctimonious moralizers will give a standing O to seventeen year old Prego Bristol and The Fucking Redneck. A Kodiak moment for hypocrites everywhere.

The conventional wisdom is that Nilap (“Nil” meaning “no” and “ap” meaning “aptitude,” by the way) just needs to avoid a gaffe and an overall sense of Quayleness to pass this test. A nice getting to know you might have sufficed had Nilap’s supposed claim to reformer fame not been contradicted by past actions, like being for the bridge to nowhere before she was agianst. To earn America’s respect after this goopy soap opera, Nilap needs to have something meaningful to say about jobs, the economy, and even foreign policy. The “normalness” of Prego seventeen year olds, “The Fuckin’ Redneck,” DUIs, Jews for Jesus, petty small town hatreds, hunting wildlife from helicopters, firing librarians, denying global warming, fighting weird in-law rivalries through firing public servants, and playing footsie with half-baked secessionist parties just won’t cut the mustard.

Even absent all of the scandalous personal details, it appears that for Nilap there is no there there. Dems should quickly contradict every bogus claim she makes and counter punch like crazy for the rest of the Conservatron Convention.

Palin hearts Jews for Jesus

Messianic “Jew” bullshit promoted by Palin’s pastor.

So, even though the New Testament essentially revokes the Torah, this somehow works for some people. Oy.

UPDATE: McCain camp denies that she agress with JFJ that Israel terrorism is for rejecting Christ.  Goes no further.

Questions remain about Trig

Check this piece out.

If Trig was Sarah Palin’s, her water broke in fucking Dallas and she flew home, skipped the hospital with a natal intensive care unit and drove another hour to a non-specialist to have the baby and was back at work in three days, all with a premature baby at risk for Down syndrome?

Gevalt.  Methinks she is either going to get caught with a lie here, and this is Bristol’s second time at the rodeo, or else she should go to prison for child endangerment, since, you know after all, fetuses are equal, right?

ZOMG! Is Bristol's "man" Jewish?!!@1!@!!

Heeb wonders out loud.

OK, so that wouldn’t make the baby Jewish, unless, gasp! you go according to the liberal Reform movement that allows patrilineal descent.  I’m going with the Orthodox on this one–I don’t really think Baby Bristol+Levi would be a mensch fomenting armaggeddon in Israel and all.

Sarah Palin Deathwatch

Wonkette has the Sarah Palin “premature withdrawal” watch here.  As my sister put it, too bad the “fuckin’ redneck” didn’t prematurely withdraw with Bristol.

Intrade’s market had Joe Biden in the 90s before the announcement, and near 100 after it.  Palin? She’s still at 94.

So, now all of the Republicans want us to be nice to family members? They don’t want mean and they don’t want smears?  Hmph. You only have to go back a few weeks to John Edwards… nevermind.  The hypocrisy is mind blowing.

UPDATE: Who vetted Palin? Dobson and Norquist.

Last week, while the media focused almost obsessively on the DNC’s spectacle in Denver, the country’s most influential conservatives met quietly at a hotel in downtown Minneapolis to get to know Sarah Palin. The assembled were members of theCouncil for National Policy, an ultra-secretive cabal that networks wealthy right-wing donors together with top conservative operatives to plan long-term movement strategy.

CNP members have included Tony Perkins, James Dobson, Grover Norquist, Tim LaHaye and Paul Weyrich. At a secret 2000 meeting of the CNP, George W. Bush promised to nominate only pro-life judges; in 2004, then-Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist told the group, “The destiny of the nation is on the shoulders of the conservative movement.” This year, thanks to Sarah Palin’s selection, the movement may have finally aligned itself behind the campaign of John McCain.

In other words, they either told McCain to pick her or they would be staying home… or they punk’d him. Tim LaHaye–what he writes books about the end of the world… fuck me. These people are crazy.

UPDATE: Wow. Just… Wow.  Damn, she’s kind of hot….. The only thing missing from this pic is some camel toe–or maybe “moose knuckle” since she’s from Aleyeska.

Jamie Lynn Palin

So the Eagleton scenario continues.

Palin’s daughter is now 5 months pregnant, 17 years old, and unmarried.  Though she will marry the dad.  Umm… and this is OK with the “excited” Christian Right?

So, just so I’m sure:

teenage sex = ok
fornication = ok
premarital sex = ok

but abortion not ok.

These people have such wonderful family values. 

Palin is turning into a process story about McCain’s failure to vet, which goes to the “judgment” argument.

Palindrome Nilap

Bush Patsy McCain spills Palin; Nil Ap Sllips?

Okay, not quite, but this gamble could well be the latest example of Bush Patsy McCain’s lifetime of horrible judgment.

I spent a formative summer working in Alaska when I was nineteen. It is a special place. Alaska is a true frontier where anyone willing to work hard and withstand the winter can make it, regardless of education level or even criminal history. As such, Alaskan politics is all about allowing enough corporate — outside of the family fishing boat — natural resource development and federal swag to create great wealth while distributing this moolah widely through high wages for all manner of manual laborers and that sweet oil royalty check each Alaskan gets yearly.

Anchorage is like the Seattle, Washington or Portland, Oregon of 110 years ago: the place to have a professional complete the paperwork on the wealth you just made out in the “bush,” and then go get liquored up, peruse and pursue the reproductive organ of your choice, and ponder your next effort. Although about 40% of Alaskans reside in Anchorage, “Real Alaska” is the “bush” and the semi-isolated towns like Nilap’s Wasilla. I suspect that Nilap’s success in Alaska was a reaction to the corporate/federal largess side of Alaskan politics getting so out of whack that it appeared to defy the reverence-for-hard-work chunk of the Alaskan zietgiest. Nilap of Wasilla was then a perfect “Real” Alaskan to set the barometer the other way and increase the oil royalty checks while scooping out a side of ethics reform. Her story really ends there and if there is fire to accompany the smoke of her own Troopergate then she and Bush Patsy McCain are toast.

The problem with Nilap’s history is its relevance to the rest of America. Alaska is a unique state with no cities equivalent to a Columbus or Albuquerque (to say nothing of Los Angeles or New York), no towns like Scranton, no first ring suburbs, few office parks, and few factories. Even its isolated, semi-autonomous, small towns and rural areas are much more wild than Any Town, Missour-uh or even any exurb. Heck, even its indigenous people have a political situation unlike those of the Tribes in the contiguous American West. Obama has also had to link his exotic background to Americus familiarus, but he has proven a master of relevance from his 04 debut. His experience is much more thorough than Nilap’s and he has been squeezed, percolated, and consumed for 20 months against the toughest of competition and emerged more than viable.

The passion of the Clintonettes has always confounded me, but it is telling that HRC only earned it, after 16 years in the public spotlight, once the tear up moment in New Hampshire made her seem at one with a legion of quietly exasperated Boomer women. The most insane PUMAs were never going to vote for Obama, but it seems unlikely that the vast majority of rational Clintonettes would support Nilap just because; just as they wouldn’t have supported the infinitely more qualified Sibellius or McCaskill had Obama veeped them.

One of the great developments of the Democratic Convention is that it is now clear to anyone with a whit of political savvy that the more HRC does to get Obama elected the more she increases her own clout. If her efforts already haven’t made her Senate Majority Leader, she will certainly be the most prominent member of that chamber and she obviously has the acumen to use that prominence to wield tremendous influence.

I’d like to see Dems hammer Bush Patsy McCain/Nilap on the equal pay issue the Dems raised so artfully throughout their convention. If Nilap supports it then why doesn’t Bush Patsy McCain? If she doesn’t then it is clear that Nilap doesn’t care about woman’s economic equality any more than she cares about their reproductive freedom. What a Conservatron! I’d love to see HRC deliver a harsh verdict when Nilap accepts next Wednesday.

Apparently, Nilap does not even know what the Veep does, y’know, stuff like being President of the Senate and breaking fifty-fifty ties. If a month from now Nilap turns out to be Dan Quayle with a vagina then we are in for a landslide come November.

Update: I spent my formative summer working at a fish cannery in Bristol Bay. Every year millions of sockeye salmon return to Bristol Bay to spawn; evidently, horny Alaskan teenagers(?) do the same thing.