Sarah, STAHP

Just STAHHHHHHHHP.

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A Dead Fish Bounce

Presumably, being an outdoors-oriented Alaskan, Mrs. Nilap, you were speaking about salmon when you said that, to paraphrase, only dead fish go with the flow. Actually, it is the living salmon smolts that go with the flow. Any cursory knowledge of salmonid outmigration (you were speaking about salmon, Mrs. Nilap, right?) reveals that they respond to a flow cue to outmigrate as smolts. The dead ones may float about with the freshet for awhile, but eventually they will either be gobbled up by a carrion eater or else will wind up on a side channel, or at the bottom of the river etc.

Similarly, as adults, it is the live salmon that go against the flow. They use cues from the water running towards the ocean to  navigate their way upstream. Should they make it back to their natal steams they will spawn and die. Thes dead adult salmon also do not go with the flow. Rather, they rot on the banks of the steam and transfer the nutrients they consumed in ocean back to the forest stream bed of their birth.

Not sure if there is any symbolism in this brief salmon life cycle lesson befitting Sarah Nilap’s goof city, farewell verbal lobotomy. Never mention marine nutrient transfer to a gobbeldy-gooker, I guess.

"South Park" Wusses Out on the 2008 Election

From the moment that Bush Patsy McCain chose Nilap for vice-president the 2008 election felt like an episode of the old South Park, the one that was fresh and consistently funny. If the stakes hadn’t been so high, the whole ’08 caper would’ve been hilarious. Indeed, “‘Joe’ the ‘Plumber'” feels more a denizen of the basic shapes cartoon than reality. (As Kenny’s dad, perhaps?)

Parker and Stone only took about a week to turn aggravation with the Star Wars blunder Jar Jar Binks into ferocious satire. They even popped out a topical episode about 9/11 as quickly after “everything changed” as was socially acceptable. So why were they silent through a two year election that forced all of America’s goopy, agonized and weird feelings about race to the fore? Why was South Park mute in an election where millions of boomer feminists transformed Hillary Clinton’s long march into a catharsis for a lifetime of frustrations, only to see the goof city Sarah Nilap turn the “Hillary, women, ME given the shaft!” collective thought wave into a parody of itself?

Methinks the reason is that all of the annoying roustabout regarding Obama’s blackness, Hillary’s tears, and Nilap’s aw shucks fascism was the sound of America’s subterranean emotions about gender and race — which was the star stuff of so many of the later, not as funny, “South Parks” — being expressed. As these things became real topics in our polity, they stopped being “yeast for the daily fucking grind,” as Bill Hicks once said, and therefore grounds for satire.

What would’ve been funny, even after the fact, was the South Park treatment applied to Bush Patsy McCain’s dadaist attempts to keep Nixonian resentment-mongering alive through Nilap, “‘Joe’ the ‘Plumber,'” absurd campaign tactics, and finally guilt by association “terrorist” claims that made his later rallies sound like the part of The Wall where Pink becomes a Nazi. (“That one in the spotlight he don’t look right to me, get ‘im up against the wall.) Instead, South Park finally addressed the 2008 election by placing all of the candidates into a Jewel Thief Ring and playing it as a parody of “perfect crime” movies. Yes, there was some bits about the tiring over-exuberance of Obamites and the silly fatalism of McCainers with some general support of Obama there between the lines, but given the material, it was weak sauce.

Anyhow, South Park was a Bush Patsy through much of this venal, miserable decade (“No Satan,” lied Saddam, “it’s a chocolate chip factory”) so fuck it anyway.

Snider and the Flyers: Conservatrons

Update: Larry Brooks to Flyers, Snider and NHL: Shame on you!

I’m a Devils fan so I’ve always hated the Flyers. Hating your rivals is part of what is fun in sports. There have been admirable players on the Flyers over the years, but leadership matters. An effective head of an organization filters his or her vision down to its final product, for better or worse.

The Flyers have always represented a sense of reactionary hatefulness. An unscientific sampling of their fans (and yes, some of my best friends are Flyers fans) shows a lust not just to win but to physically pummel their opponents; a belief that losing 5-2 is okay if you won the fight in the second period. This is reflected in the make ups of their teams over the last several years. They have always featured plenty of goons, rugged wingers and some skill, but have not managed to maintain a franchise goaltender. And when the opponent outphysicals them the Flyers are the first to cry foul and unfair. The whining after Scott Stevens KOed Lindross was epic and legion. Hey. you wanted tough, you wanted pummeling, you got it.

In essence, you have classic bully behavior. Sort of similar to Nilap’s terrifying rallies of late. Perhaps it should come as no surprise that Ed Snider, the Flyers head who is also chairman of the awful Comcast Corporation and a major Conservatron, has invited Nilap to drop the puck at the Flyers’ home opener.

Ah well, number for Flyers’ PA office is 1-215-465-4500.

Lets Go Devils!

Bring on the Conservatron Hate Machine!

Bush Patsy McCain is pulling out of Michigan. Remember back at the start of the general election campaign how Bush Patsy McCain was going to put New York, Massachusetts, and New Jersey in play? Remember how Nilap was supposed to make Oregon and Washington State competitive again? In the immortal words of Elroy Jetson: “Eep-op-orp Uh Uh” and that means “hell no!”

Where Kerry had to sweat Oregon, New Jersey and even Hawaii Bush Patsy McCain must now defend North Carolina, Virginia and Indiana. Obama has pulled ahead in New Hampshire in recent days and is winning Pennsylvania. The only other Kerry state that may be close is Minnesota. Meanwhile, Obama has strong leads in New Mexico and Iowa. This means that any one of Virginia, Ohio, North Carolina, Indiana, Florida, West Virginia, Colorado, Missouri, or Nevada puts Obama/Biden over the top (although just a West Virginia or Nevada would result in an unsavory 269-269 tie Win).

Conservatron prostates are tickled because Nilap managed to mouth her verbal lobotomy at the VP debate without being possessed by a witch, but again, no one else cares about how she is avoiding an evil media filter. Disliking Katie Couric, Gwen Ifill and David Letterman doesn’t help pay the mortgage. Having a VP that must be sequestered and handled and cannot be a typical surrogate is a tremendous weakness. As much as Nilap may have “fired up the base” there is strong observational evidence that the Bush Patsy McCain ground game is not nearly as intense or robust as Obama’s. The money that Obama put into his field offices instead of advertising in the summer is paying off now.

Predictably, Bush Patsy McCain is going pure negative. HRC “threw the kitchen sink” in a similar circumstance. And it worked. The confounding factors were that Obama needed the HRC voters so he could not respond in kind. The ideological differences were minute, leaving little substance to disagree over. Obama also had to simultaneously contend with Bush Patsy McCain with one hand. Most importantly, Clinton/Clinton were far more formidable than Bush Patsy McCain/Nilap are. The Conservatrons will play the Association Card with Ayers and Reverend Wright as much as possible. Obama needs to stay cool, focus on the economy, and counter punch by bringing up Bush Patsy McCain’s random, weird Diva behavior, terrible proposals, Bush Patsyness, and history of lousy judgment. I still also think that Obama gains stature points from less attentive voters (who are often the undecideds) that are now starting to focus on the election just by being his able self at the debates.

Beyond that though, I wonder if the Conservatron Hate Machine is as powerful as it was four years ago. Consider the recent fake controversy over Gwen Ifill’s supposed bias towards Obama/Biden because of a book she is writing about black politicians post-Obama. This was a Nixonland classic: anti-“elitism” mixed with hints of quiet racism, and an elbow thrown at the media to boot. And it wiffed. It never made it past the Conservatron echo chamber to establish an MSM narrative. Methinks there are three reasons for this: 1.) There is enough of a liberal echo chamber now (the Netroots + Air America + Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow) to at least put the counter-argument that everyone knew about the Ifill book two months ago into the MSM. 2.) The media is more diffuse so it is harder to insert narratives into it than it was four years ago. 3.) No one cares! As I’ve been arguing for months, US versus THEM backlashes predicated on the upheavals of 1968 are not relevant to the problems of 2008. Ifill was equally worthless as a moderator as Jim Lehrer was, Biden wiped the floor with Nilap and Obama continues to gain slightly in the national tracking polls each day.

Oh, and with Bush Patsy McCain surrendering the field Obama gets to redirect most of his Michigan resources too!

Vituperative and Vapid

Every time I listened to Nilap give an answer I felt like I somehow was made stupider just by experiencing her words. Nilap spun vituperative spite with vapid homilies like the worlds most disingenuous Beatnik. It was a verbal lobotomy. It was like being a dead Egyptian emperor and getting your brains sucked out of your head through the straw up your nose during the mummification process.

Nilap did nothing to get laughed off the stage but — as I’ve been saying since the first — there still is just no there there for anyone that isn’t a Conservatron concerned with her retrograde social stances. In a few cases Biden delivered knock out blows with his answers to her non-answers; in a few others he was not punchy enough. Biden out emoted her in the end with the aside about his wife, and Nilap’s hateful popular fifteen year-old response bordered on ugly.

Nilap won’t be removed from the ticket at this point, but at the end of the day she is a poor pick. Yes she excited the Consevatron base, but there is a huge opportunity cost associated with her not being a truly effective surrogate who is able to engage the press and public regularly.

The Nilap Bubble Is Starting To Burst

What seems like two years ago, but was really a bit over two weeks ago I wrote this:

“A nice getting to know you might have sufficed had Nilap’s supposed claim to reformer fame not been contradicted by past actions, like being for the Bridge To Nowhere before she was against it. To earn America’s respect after this goopy soap opera, Nilap needs to have something meaningful to say about jobs, the economy, and even foreign policy. The “normalness” of Prego seventeen year olds, “The Fuckin’ Redneck,” DUIs, Jews for Jesus, petty small town hatreds, hunting wildlife from helicopters, firing librarians, denying global warming, fighting weird in-law rivalries through firing public servants, and playing footsie with half-baked secessionist parties just won’t cut the mustard.”

And:

“The Conservatrons don’t care about Nilap’s petty small-town rivalries, the hypocrisy embedded in her daughter’s tummy by a “fucking redneck,” or the rest because her goof city stances on creationism and abortion etc. are important to them. I suspect the rest of America is not concerned with how well they can relate to Nilap. Her “normalness” does not put food on the table or help pay the mortgage. Most importantly, it does not demonstrate that she can be president.”

If Obama was just a “celebrity” he never would have beaten the formidable Clinton Machine and the rest of the deep Democratic field. Beyond the rousing speeches there were articulate and relevant ideas. Obama was right about the Iraq war. He was right about a time line to remove our troops from Iraq. He had a meaningful set of ideas to address the budding financial crisis six months ago. Nilap has one well-delivered speech, stuffed like Twinkie with gooey lies, that she has repeated over and over and over while hiding from the media.

The Conservatrons also misundrestood the Clintonian sexism angst. I suspect that in their Tin Pot craniums, Conseravtrons who have lambasted feminists for eons thought they were unleashing a Feminist Boogeywoman that would reap the same imagined havoc on the Democrats as it had on them. The Clinton feminist backlash was organic outrage based on the frustration with characterizations by bloviators like Chris Matthews. At it’s core was the fact that a serious candidate was, at times, being marginalized by her gender. Pretending that a mental rice cake like Nilap is being discriminated against by imagining that the cliche “lipstick on a pig” is a slight just to her is obvious nonsense.

In the immortal out-of-context words of Kevin Devine, the rush has worn off and we’re left with this busted person. The MSM is beginning to report on Nilap’s lies. The latest NY Times/CBS poll has Obama leading by 5 after being down 2 a week ago, and Nilap’s unfavorables are increasing..

The Conservatrons will stay with Nilap because they care about her retrograde social stances, but as I said two weeks ago, for everyone else there is no there there.